Autumnal Sexy

Posted by on Oct 11, 2018 in Nature-Inspired Sexy, Relationship Sexy

Autumnal Sexy

It’s been a sexy autumn here in the high country of Colorado.

Not quite as captivating as 2003 when every aspen tree in our corner of the state climaxed simultaneously, creating a display of golden leaves so magnificent that we marked the correlating weekend of the following year for our wedding.

This year was sexy in another way altogether. The leaves started showing their true colors, which included a lot of tequila sunrise orange, on Labor Day and the show stretched all the way into the first week of October.

It was a slow, sultry seduction, like one of those perfect Sunday mornings when we have nothing to do and nowhere to go. When my man puts Back To Black by Amy Winehouse on the stereo and we take a second cup of coffee back to bed.  When we lie naked, our legs entwined, and flip through the latest issue of Playboy and let those gorgeous images of the human body lure us back to an appreciation of our own. A coffee flavored kiss leads to finger painting with Grand Marnier and by the time we’ve licked and sucked all that orange stickiness from each other’s skin, it’s time for brunch.

It’s been that kind of fall… a sexy Sunday morning kind of fall.

But Monday morning always comes, and last week it arrived in an icy fog that draped the newly bare aspen branches  in the white lace of rain turned overnight into snow.

winter branches

My man headed out early to help some colleagues who were working nearby on a snowshoe hare study.  I headed out to hike and flirt back with the first tease of Winter.

I was feeling about as alive as I can feel and having one of those precious moments when the veil is made sheer by the gloriousness of nature.  The air, moist and cold and finally free of the dust and smoke of this summer’s drought conditions, effervesced like champagne on my lips. The scent of wet leaves morphing into the earth lingered in my nostrils after each inhale.

And a sound, like the howl of a lone coyote, floated down from the ridge.

When I looked up, I saw through the icy mist, a distant silhouette of a rider on horseback. Earlier in my hike, I’d caught a glimpse of our ranching neighbor Danny, cowboy hat tilted low, as he, his horse and dog, urged the stragglers of his herd through our property where they graze every September. So I assumed that the rider on the ridge was his wife Lucy.

I was already in an otherworldly awe, but that iconic western image of her coupled with that hauntingly beautiful call, one I imagined she’d honed over the course of their  30 + years of  marriage to connect with him across an expanse of sage, made the entire surface of my skin tingle and my eyes mist as I thought about my own marriage, fourteen years and counting…

C.C. Havens

…and despite the inevitable challenges, what a gift it truly is, this kind of enduring love

In her book Mating in Captivity, psychotherapist Esther Perel writes about how with the commitment, familiarity and partnership of marriage, we inevitably lose some of the elements of mystery and eroticism.

This is true.  Keeping monogamy sexy is a lofty goal, especially with the challenges of mid life, such as sex hormone depletion and IRA expansion. But I think if we adjust the lens, we can see that what we can gain in emotional intimacy, trust and shared history is sexy in its own right.

It’s a coyote call drifting down through the mist.

winter aspen

I understand the lure of polyamory, it’s like my friends who move to the Southern Hemisphere every fall chasing spring and summer. And I must admit, I’m intrigued.  Polyamory is everywhere lately. Here’s a Modern Love essay  and a trailer for the BBC’s show Wanderlust.

But I found myself on that Monday morning, standing still in the white washed woods, embracing, with every cell of my being, the richness of this autumn of my marriage.

C.C. Havens

Photo by Mical Hutson

Fall is my favorite season after all.

Sexy conversation starter: I wondered after writing this post if I had the beginnings of a Modern Love piece for the New York Times: The Four Seasons of Love.  It didn’t come together as something to submit but I still love the idea.  The spring of a relationship with all that budding romance.  All the adventure and discovery of summer.  My husband and I are in an Indian summer phase right now, both of us working hard on our businesses, banking money for retirement and embracing an energy much like the harvest .  How about you? If you are in a relationship right now, what season are you in?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments.


  1. I love fall, too. And I really enjoy your essays and the combination of photo and esssay. Please keep them coming!

    • Its always so sexy to find you here, Jude. I challenged myself with another erotic photo shoot this fall so I have a new cache of photos to work with for the blog. So more to come…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.