Posts by C.C. Havens

When Roses Speak

Posted by on Jan 24, 2016

Hard. Transcendent. Sexy.  Three words that sum up my latest foray into erotic fiction. I was on deadline last week to submit a story for the Literary Arts division of the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival. I didn’t have much to work with, just some messy notes I’d jotted down last spring when my favorite photographer, Alan Shapiro (he’s amazing) posted a photo of a rose that mesmerized me with her black cherry beauty.   She wrapped her thorny stem around my heart, brushed her silky petals up against my ear and whispered:  Write me. At the time I was in the throes of polishing and submitting my erotic memoir, Seduced By a River, for publication (release date: Valentine’s Day!) so I couldn’t indulge in the flirtation.  But when roses speak, I’ve learned to listen so I created a Word document, named it Rose and threw a whirlwind of inspiration in it. I have enough ideas in that file to write a book, but all I needed for the festival was a 1200-word short story.  I extracted some notes about a couple in bed with champagne and roses. It was so awkward at first, me in bed with them, trying to construct fiction after all these years of writing memoir. But I  kept showing up, day after day, trying way too hard and then not hard enough until finally they started showing themseves to me. The tattoos.  The scars. The piercings of flesh and heart. Their I’m in this with you no matter what kind of love. Suddenly, as if they existed in some other realm, they were writing through me. I found myself leaning to the right to better allow that conduit of creativity to come straight into my heart and down my left arm to my hands that were dancing across the keyboard. My muses threw their heads back and laughed, Finally! They ran their fingers through my hair and tickled the tip of my nose with rose petals. As I wrote the final sentence, my hands were trembling and my eyes blurred with emotion and my god I love it when that happens. Sexy prompt: What does it feel like when you tap into your deepest creative self? When do your muses show up?...

Read More

Sexy Beside Me

Posted by on Jan 8, 2016

I sat beside a woman for ten days who inspired me to work harder than I ever have. We never spoke a word. I didn’t know her name. I couldn’t really tell what she looked like since all eighty of us in the meditation hall were bundled up due to the unseasonably cold weather. She draped colorful scarves over her head and wrapped them around her neck like a Madonna.  I was tucked into the hood of my ankle- length sweater like a monk. We accidently made eye contact a few times in the dining hall, but both of us quickly looked away.  We were observing Noble Silence which started on the first night of this ten-day Vipassana meditation course when we were lead individually into the meditation hall and shown our place to sit. By chance and good fortune, I was seated next to her. The first few days, while I wriggled around on my cushion like a puppy during the hour-long meditations, she sat beside me barely moving at all.  Before each session, I’d fumble around to get my two fleece pillows placed just so under my knees thinking that if I got them perfectly positioned I wouldn’t have so much pain in my right leg. She knew better, that the pain was just a part of the purification process. She’d take two seconds to fluff the buckwheat cushions under her knees, rest her hands on her thighs and begin. As the course progressed, I felt our silent compassion for each other as the physical pain reverted to its orignal form and flushed out of us through quiet sobs and tears. On Day Four, we both floated out of the meditation hall, elated, when after 3 1/2 days of focusing solely on the sensation of the breath at the nostrils, we were taught the Vipassana technique of directing that intense focus throughout the body which was one of the most profound experiences of my life. She smelled faintly of Ivory soap. But what really made her so Sexy Beside Me was this:  before each meditation, she exhaled long and slow through her mouth making a sound that indicated that she was going in, a sound that conveyed both surrender and resolve, a sound I grew to love and depend on for inspiration,  a sound that was so beautifully feminine and so fabulously determined. Turns out she had wild, curly dark hair under those scarves and eyes as bright as the stars on a new moon night. Her name was...

Read More

Sexy Speech

Posted by on Jan 5, 2016

I found a sexy new way to scare myself. I’ve been so busy with this process of getting my erotic memoir out to the world that I haven’t had much time for running whitewater, skiing the back country or doing erotic photos shoots. So I’ve been going to Toastmasters. It works. I finally worked up the nerve to do my first speech, the Ice Breaker, where I introduce myself to the group. My Inner Catholic Girl and My Inner Stripper showed up. Unlike my previous forays with public speaking, when  I read my erotic stories at the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, my voice didn’t squeak. My legs didn’t shake.  This is very sexy progress since at this year’s festival (Save the Date!  April 23-24) I am doing a book launch for my erotic memoir, Seduced By A River. Scared yourself lately?  Tell me about it in the comments. Here’s the video of my Ice Breaker...

Read More

Silent Night

Posted by on Dec 25, 2015

We’re having a sensuous Christmas. A freshly cut blue spruce stands inside the cabin waiting to be adorned. A colorful display of envelopes, cards from family and friends, are scattered beneath the boughs like the precious gifts that they are. We no longer buy into the the tradition of giving Christmas presents, choosing instead to retreat to our cabin to appreciate the gifts we already have. We’ve been unwrapping each other every morning in the dreamy dark. Tonight our wood-fired hot tub is at 105 degrees. After a week of snowstorms, the sky has cleared and a full moon is rising in the east, casting moonshadows of the aspens across the untracked snow. The surrounding peaks glow. There’s not even a whisper of wind so even though it is eighteen degrees, it’s relatively painless to cast away our robes and sink naked into the hot water. The nearest neighbor is two miles away by snowmobile or skis this time of year. The night is so still and quiet, as if the fresh snow has cleansed the atmosphere of all sound.  We sit and look out over our meadow, the sage barely visible under a blanket of sparkling white, and we feel it too:  this deep quieting. Life, as they say, has it’s up and downs.  This year brought more valleys than peaks.  I lost my father.  We both lost perspective as the seeds of our entrepreneurial visions started bearing fruit. In the act of juggling three ripening  businesses, the ball that often got dropped was us. But this week, we are picking ourselves up. We sit, our limbs buoyant and entwined, on our twelfth Christmas together, in awe of the incredible perfection of this silent night. All is calm.  All is bright.  ...

Read More

Sexy Extremes

Posted by on Dec 20, 2015

One weekend: I’m at a Girls’ Night Out with a group of river sisters I received like a dowry when I married my raft guide. We drink margaritas.  We eat enchiladas. We laugh. We touch.  We express every thought that lands on our lips. We dress up and dance for three hours straight to a funk band at the Belly Up in downtown Aspen.   Wild feminine energy freely expressed. Super sexy. The next weekend: I’m at a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation course. I am living in community with forty women I’ve never met. We don’t talk, gesture, touch or make eye contact as we observe Noble Silence. As requested, we dress modestly and skip the makeup and jewelry. Dinner and drinks here equates to a piece of fruit and some herbal tea or lemon water so we are practically fasting from noon to 6:30 am to further support this purification process we are all going through. We sit as still as we can in meditation for ten to twelve hours a day. We are asked not to hike beyond the course boundary. Wild feminine energy consciously contained. Super sexy. Done anything extreme lately?  Tell me about it in the...

Read More